Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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