Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
