so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Farmville is her only friend.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize