White coat. Heels.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
