My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize