yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
