You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Randomize