I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
