Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
