well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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