I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
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