Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
