I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
