Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Randomize
