This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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