I seem to have left my pride at pride
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Randomize
