she looked like the before picture.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
