I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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