who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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