As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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