Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
