I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Randomize
