sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
