I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
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