I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize