After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
