While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Randomize
