I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Randomize
