I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
