I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize