I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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