how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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