Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Holy shit dude........stairs
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
