I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
Randomize
