We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Randomize
