Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
