I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
