my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
