so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
