I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
