they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
