I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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