You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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