don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I am one with the molecules
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
