If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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