Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
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