I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
