she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
