So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize