Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
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