You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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