All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize