I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
