physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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