So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
