At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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