its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
only if we run a train.
done.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
