Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(515): View more from Iowa

Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.

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(208): View more from Idaho

I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.

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(304): View more from West Virginia

He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.

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(714): View more from California

when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow

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(859): View more from Kentucky

IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL

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(260): View more from Indiana

He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?

(1-260): View more from Indiana

Considering how often you blow him,high.

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(519): View more from Ontario

sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?

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(253): View more from Washington

I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.

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