You really coming over, don't trick.
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
