You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Randomize
