wakey wakey hands off snakey
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
