These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
And the cops told us we were all naked.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
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