I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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