it's too hot outside to masturbate.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
True college students do jello shots in the library
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