I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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