went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
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